OCD

Working on OCD – this client has had it for approximately 13 years. The particular focus is on dates and times. A tendency to track this info with a compulsion to ask people things twice, needing reassurance as can’t shut mind off until gets the certainty.

The repetition is an inability to connect into the sense of X and then an inability to let go of the need to have this sense. This involves an endless checking and invariably people feel embarrassed so hide this behaviour.

We are now 25% of the way through the whole knot in the psyche & there has been longer gaps between episodes, it essentially has weakened, the client still has bad episodes & was getting headaches (sign of 2^nd phase). He feels less angry with self for having this behaviour, is more relaxed and has much awareness about certain patterns like being obliged to others

Working with wholes we asked the body for a set of beliefs to work on, it gave us 5

I must never upset anyone
I have to temper what I say
I have to make sure everyone is cared for
I must be there for them
I must be the best that I can

The nucleic belief was I must never upset anyone with I have to temper what I say. Since a young age there has been a strong sensitivity to other people’s sadness with thoughts about how much mankind suffers.

Due to previous integrations the client is aware he is not responsible for how others feel. These beliefs operate within his work context which is helping disadvantaged children. We brought to his attention that his intentions are good and in life others can and will get unexpectedly triggered & that him being authentic is ok if his intentions are positive. He agreed that he would rather friends spoke their mind to him than temper what they say.

There was a strong checking of body language so that he could communicate in a way that he believed was effective. This checking takes one away from spontaneity and even though in certain contexts it might be useful to tailor your communication it si draining for the psyche. As you can see from the beliefs the caring for everyone, being there in a whole hearted fashion for them were all strategies to ensure that no one ever got upset as he felt he was letting them down. This lead to a feeling of overwhelm as he felt he should take responsibility so that others do not crumble.

The awareness of the interconnectivity of these beliefs & how they operate will have begun the process of introducing choice into his actions..

 

 

Next session

Belief system

I know where everything is
I know what’s right for me (All or nothing)
I can’t say no
I know how to protect myself with discernment (I am never enough)
I must be on my toes.

Some background is – a strong tendency to track information he has accumulated and also a strong tracking in social groups. He is highly attentive to visual stimuli and auditory morsels. In a large group his ears will be listening out, sometimes to two or three conversations at once. There is an anxiety that the OCD will get triggered so often will leave quickly. ‘In other words he is on his toes.’

He quickly scans an environment and makes a decision to engage or not. This mode of operating which is in part the judger meta-program is very ingrained. In social groups there is a sense of having no control over who he sees and where things will go. This is powerlessness coupled with a fear that  the OCD might get triggered. He feels confined in the sense that he believes that there is an expectation for him to show up and engage ‘I have to stay there.’ People do know him now and recognise he puts in short appearances.

The prime focus of OCD is dates and times, the fear being that if he lets go of this information he may never get it back. Consciously he knows ‘so what’ but the loss of this info triggers deep anxiety. The feeling that he is trying to avoid primarily is anguish (sadness) about the potential loss that losing the info means. IE he can’t get back in touch. The belief is that the environment needs to be secure as vulnerability is dangerous and make you an easy target. Check the identification of ‘is dangerous.’ This is challenged with – if you left the doors unlocked and someone did break in, if you kept quiet and didn’t attack the intruder – what is likely to happen. In The UK (unlike South Africa) most often they will flee. Again the checking is ‘not getting the sense,’ hence the repetition whose function is to sublimate the doubt / uncertainty.

Interestingly in this session I asked him to reference a really bad example and because one had been recently (rummaging around in the cellar) it started to activate, when strong he has to deal with it immediately. Some directives (commands to central nervous system) came out. ‘Everything has to be secure.’ If I don’t get back I will never see it again.’ I have to engage.’ I have to attend to,’ I have to go there and do,  ‘I shouldn’t have lost it.’ the scan chart said ‘I’m not allowed to be mistakes.’

Session 3

After last session he had a weird dream – a feeling of being lost. Also when he left he had to get a train and he fell asleep deeply on the train, he commented that ne never sleeps in the day.  The week itself had much less intense episodes of OCD, they would pass through much quicker and this was accompanied with an emerging new awareness.

We started by asking the body how many more belief systems to do and it said five. (There was an emergent belief also)

I doubt what I see / know
I am constantly on the lookout for danger
I am not free to express myself ( I don’t want to feel upset)
I do things my way to feel secure
I know where everything is
I must be on guard (I don’t want to feel trapped)

As we had done ‘I must be guarded before’ we remodelled it slightly, went into emotional scan chart and it pointed out trapped. He agreed and said he desperately tries to avoid that feeling of being trapped. We started to tap and straight away he referenced an example of a being at a house where the people who were going away asked him to ensure everything was unplugged and the boiler was switched off. Of course this is a red rag to a bull, full permission for the checking rituals. He recounted the process of being with a friend (in the car on way back home) who was there and checking that the boiler was off, he would get confirmation that it was, then forty seconds later have to ask again.

From Meta medicine perspective, this is a problem with assimilating which is connected to small intestine. This was not checked and possibly another organ brain relay is involved. The need for reassurance is an attempt to escape doubt and vulnerability. The thought connected to this was ‘something bad could happen.’ Actually he had had an experience where an electric blanket had caught fire. Anyway we tapped on the statement and explored the need to pull out the plugs. Did he know anyone who had left a plug in that had caught fire with an appliance (with the exception of cheap Chinese goods with minimum electrical standards). There is a distinction between possibility and probability. Many thing are possible, are they probable.

Other directives which came out were – ‘it’s never enough.’’ I have to be sure,’

‘I have to know the answer’ connected to if ‘I do know there will be no problem.’ We inverted this to

-if you don’t know will there be a problem. The answer was no. the OCD is a control issue in that the insecure feeling is identified with potential danger and the need to secure the world around me, as one can do this, whereas changing the feeling the person feels helpless. In effect they can’t tolerate doubt and vulnerability.

Next we started on ‘I am constantly on look out for danger.’ There is a tendency to tune into the environment, peoples intentions, any threats. This manifests as a pressure which builds and a restlessness which makes him want to leave immediately. Part of the being trapped was the burden of what he thought other people’s expectations about how long he should stay etc. First we contrasted these social contexts with his work which being a teacher for disadvantaged kids certainly represents an environment with many pressing expectations. Here the belief was – work is the same for everyone, people don’t have the choice. This was used to illustrate how perception was important.

In social contexts the thought is ‘I am not free to do what I want.’ This is in conflict with the belief that – ‘I do things my way to feel secure.’ In social contexts he felt bound by what he felt were the hosts / friends expectations. What was interesting was that even though the body did not highlight ‘I’m not free to express myself’ (as a belief we need to directly do) this was one of the main causal factors. When he got an invitation he found it difficult to say no, when he was there he would look for excuses to leave rather than being direct, whereas the worst which could happen was the host was a little deflated. He took their upset to be his responsibility so I reminded him that he is not responsible for how they react (knowing he had good intentions). One of the directives was ‘ I can’t wait’ – restlessness. This feeling of restlessness coupled with his difficulty in saying no were core aspects. We talked about him doing things for others, not because you feel obliged but because you genuinely want to give, like he would in his work, this was a good thing so the’ need to do things my way’ could be softened in the knowledge that making others happy was good reason to be more patient, tolerant etc. Here we are bringer higher level values to bear. Tolerance, patience & kindness

The last aspect around avoiding upset was worked on. The upset would  trigger sadness. The sadness in turn was a deep sadness which in the past was  generalised to ‘man’s suffering.’ This in turn was linked with injustice. ‘It’s an unfair world.’ With this belief we ask – ‘what are you not noticing.’ The mind is forced to acknowledge that there are many good things in the world. Also I challenge with ‘what seems bad (amoebas avoid pain) may have a silver lining and that there are reasons for things we can’t fathom, how do we know that the soul is not growing because of this experience. The Hindus talk of the causal body which is a repository of experience from past incarnations. This is just to get him to acknowledge that there is so much we don’t know and that it may not be so black and white. Here we are acknowledging the analogue nature of life and extending the frame by looking at the injustice from a spiritual perspective. This frame opens up to a much larger time frame where there are many lives and spiritual law.

‘Life is unfair’ was remodelled to ‘It seems for some people it’s really unfair.’ The ‘pointlessness and ‘wasted potential’ were key ideas. His need to avoid them important to him. We explored that even when we are being lazy there is often a reason for the behaviour so again reinforcing the idea of soul learning beyond human comprehension..Of course tapping into creative potential is to be desired.

By this point his mind was shattered, we ended it here. He commented that the tapping on statements would release tension noticeably. I had been wondering about just tapping on statements and had recently begun doing it again. We muscle test the charge (as often not felt) and we tap until body says zero.